You have to take care of people’s needs and a lot of needs aren’t pleasant. It’s like changing diapers on adults. What I always try to do is ascertain the level of the problem from 0 to 10 before I decide what to do. If the problem is a level 1 or 2, I know I can solve it quickly and not have to deal with motivational barriers. If the problem is a 7–10, then I have to find a lot of time to deal with a size 10 problem, because this person has a huge problem and it will take time to get the motivational barriers down to get to the heart of the problem.
So, as you are talking through the problem and going through the motivational barriers, after a great deal of time, you finally get down to the heart of the problem, and they’re finally out and they surface, and you spend the rest of the time building that person back up before they leave. The size of the problem determines the amount of time you take, so you’re allowed to get through the motivational barriers to discuss and solve the problem, get the person back up on their feet, and back into the workforce. I explained this in a leadership class at Cal Tech and the instructor asked me how it worked. I drew the following chart on the blackboard, whereupon he asked me if he could use the chart in his class—of course, yes. While at IGT, a lady manager walked into my office sobbing with bruises on her face. I had a glass wall facing the main office so I placed her chair so she was facing me and away from view of the people outside the room. I picked up my phone and rang my secretary outside the room and asked her to hold all of my calls and appointments for the day. She said, “This must be serious.” I just answered, “Yes.” It took a few hours to get past all of the office stuff and she then informed me that her husband was beating her at home. After giving her confidence in her position at work and the support the company would provide, I asked her to seek outside help, maybe the authorities. The point of the Davids curve: When you first measure the size of the problem, match the size of the problem with enough time to get past the associated motivational barriers and then allow enough time to build the person back up before exiting the meeting. This woman’s being battered and I’m going to spend three minutes with this woman? You can’t do that. That takes the rest of the day. As a thought leader, you really must understand before you open the can how much time it takes to put the worms back in the can. Make enough time for the size of the problem. Motivational Diplomat Don’t put motivational barriers up, take them down through creativity. Motivational barriers are a subject for an entire book. Quickly described, they are the resistance humans naturally get when they feel something is not right. Imagine a tubular glass shield sliding up around you when someone says something that starts to offend you. It can be an action as well, like someone pointing a finger in your face. These words and actions reduce your receptivity to their communications. Yes, they are like communication barriers. Like the urine in the soup, it is much better to not let it start. As a diplomat, I am always trying to communicate in such a way that I do not have a barrier start around people I talk “with.” Notice that we never talk “to” someone; always talk “with” them. Just a simple thing like talking “to”—instead of “with”—can start a motivational barrier. The one I hate is when someone points a finger at me. I say, “Careful! That may go off” (like a gun). They usually stop it. If you are always aware that you as leader are the “communicator” and you are respectful in your communication skills, you become that diplomat. You are always trying to speak with someone on equal level. This along with some charisma will greatly assist your communication skills. If motivational barriers do go up, you have to find a way to get those barriers down so that real communication can resume. Sometimes it may take a long time to get the barriers back down (see Motivational Diapers). Get the barriers down before resuming the point you were trying to make. I never had a plan on how to get the barriers down. Each person required a different approach. I had to talk with that person until they were comfortable. I was not an aggressor to them in any way: remember, you cannot force a barrier down. It is their motivation—only they can motivate themselves. You need to find a creative way to get trust back so that they can lower any barriers they have. I usually would shock them by going to a totally different subject that had logic that could be used in a different way that they could fit into our conversation. If you are a diplomat, you are always keeping communications open and do not have to fix a problem.
1 Comment
|